I realized it as soon as I sat down with Jüne Plã: “It’s going to be one of those memorable interviews.” Not only because Jüne is extremely nice, frank, and aware of herself and what she says, but above all, because she knows how to make you feel comfortable and give life to a conversation that is always interesting and important. In short, she has been able to make the concept of how essential communication is, her own.
That same kind of communication that, when missing, creates uncomfortable situations. And, precisely by handling the art of communication, she managed to convey both through words and illustrations the importance of good sex: because Jüne Plã is the author of “Bliss Club: Sex Tips for Creative Lovers,” a sensational book, an adjective that I do not use randomly, as this manual teaches you to analyze your feelings, your pleasure and well-being in being with another person in a situation, that of sex encounters, which is never talked about enough in educational terms and which offers an overview of possibilities to be explored, even alone.
Between overcoming generational (or rather, secular) taboos and fantasies to explore, Jüne told us about what encouraged her to write this book and how sex, feminism, and art are the perfect match. Even out of the sheets…
I loved that, on the first page, in the dedication, you quoted the line “Let’s talk about sex, baby,” by Salt-N-Pepa, so my first question comes by itself: what was your first approach to the world of sex like? And when did you experience a kind of turning point?
I think we might have had the same approach, you and I! I didn’t do any sex education at school and didn’t really talk about sex with my parents, so sex was basically nothing to me at first, it was a big mystery, until one day, I decided to be penetrated because I wanted to be penetrated, I didn’t want to stay a virgin for so long [laughs]. So, I did it and it was great, and that’s how my sex life began. However, it was always the same thing, foreplay, penetration, and then the guy has an orgasm, which was great, in a way, but still, I didn’t have any information or documentation to understand that it was maybe not right and that there was something more than that. Then, when I was 20, I met this boy: his dick was very small, he was a bit slow, but he was the best lover of my life because he worked with his senses a lot. I actually asked him to write a book about that, but he never did, so I did it myself!
Sex, feminism, and art: how do they all combine in your approach to life and work?
Creativity is a big thing in my life, I need to change things even in what I eat, in my house, I need to change furniture from time to time, I don’t want to be bored! That’s why creativity is important to me, and I think it must be a big thing in sexuality as well.
Feminism, too, obviously has to be taken seriously in sexuality because we’ve never had women talking about it and now, at last, we need to say everything there is to say. At least, they’re listening to us now. The job is not really done, but we’re working on it.
Feminism, sexuality, art, and creativity, all combined, it’s the perfect match for me.
Who’s the kind of reader that you first had in mind while writing “Bliss Club”?
Well, mostly women [laughs]. It’s funny because I started writing it for men, to teach men how to touch me, but, to my surprise, it attracted a lot of women: 70% of my readers are straight women, who need freshness, who need something more. I think my readers are people who used to be like me, unable to find a way to tell their partner what they wanted. But now, they have the perfect manual to gift them! [laughs]
The first two rules of the club are “Consent” and “Communication.” Have you ever felt that these two elements were missing from your relationships? And if so, how has this awareness changed your perspective?
Consent and communication are, for me, the basis for a good relationship; it’s not just about sex, but for everything, consent and communication are the fucking keys to everything. I didn’t know that before writing it. The day I conceptualized it, my life upgraded in every way: during sex, now I can say no, which is something I couldn’t do before, and I’m very careful about my partner, too, if I feel like they’re not comfortable, I want to have a conversation with them before because it’s so important, and it’s also sexy.
Speaking of creativity while having sex instead… Can you tell us your biggest fantasy?
I’ve tons of fantasies, actually, I want to explore everything… Maybe, I want my ex back, he was fucking hot! [laughs] We had so many kinks together, in fact, I’ve already lived the fantasy that I wanted to live, so now I’d like to explore other things. For example, I’d like to go in one of those sex parties that young people are doing right now, I think it could be cool.
Sex is a taboo that we are (slowly) trying to take down, but masturbation is even a bigger taboo if you will. Why in your opinion?
I think it’s a taboo mostly for women, and we tend to see it as something dirty. I want to blame religion for that, I’m gonna do it! [laughs] I think that religion killed our sexuality, making us think that sex is only a way of procreating and so if you do it alone, you are a sinner. Now, society has evolved, we don’t even think in this way anymore, we’ve integrated it, without realizing it.
“Consent and communication are the fucking keys to everything. I didn’t know that before writing it. The day I conceptualized it, my life upgraded in every way.”
I found the chapters dedicated to the anatomy of the female and male sex apparatus really interesting because, besides the lack of sex education (in schools, but also in life in general), I’ve also been witnessing a complete lack of knowledge when it comes to knowing ourselves and our bodies. Do you think that maybe social media, and projects such as your @jouissanceclub, could help “spread the word” in these terms?
Yeah, of course, we’re here for that, to fill the void that the Government left! [laughs] We’re trying to do that, but actually, the Government has to do the job and talk about all that kind of stuff, we should talk about it at school because, with my book, we can’t touch every single young person.
There are a lot of influential people following @jouissanceclub, like Carlotta Vagnoli, for example, and that’s cool, but it’s also not enough, and it’s mostly women, mostly people aged between 18 and 35, which means we’re not reaching the “younger” teenagers. So, it’s important to teach sex education at school because we can’t do that alone, we just need good teachers who are willing to talk about subjects like gender, sex, and communication; I’m not saying we need to talk about things like fellatio, cunnilingus, rough sex, I’m talking about the basics, we need to teach those.
Taking care of yourself, and your body, and having good sex, both with someone else or on your own, are also fundamental aspects to improve mental health, another topic that, unfortunately, is still a big taboo in our society. I don’t understand why things that are so important and so good for ourselves are usually kept secret or seen as something to be ashamed of. Doesn’t it feel almost like people are afraid of being truly themselves and truly happy?
I don’t feel like in France self-care is a big deal right now, so it’s not something we’re ashamed of; however, maybe people are afraid of being good and happy because they feel like it’s selfish to think about themselves all the time, whereas it’s a good thing because when you’re feeling good, you’re healthy, you can share that with people, and people can feel good in their turn, so that’s just magical. There’s no shame in being happy.